Critical thinking: i’m telling myself

Reduce Stress and Conflict by Fact-Checking yOur Thoughts

We've likely all heard the quip, "Don't believe everything you think." Often our thoughts affect our feelings and our reactions without our knowing about it. Our limiting core beliefs, personality orientations, coping mechanisms, and the state we are in physically, emotionally, and mentally feed our perceptions and drive our thoughts. When we consider all these influences, no wonder we spiral into having a terrible day, week, month, or worse. The longer we go without fact-checking, the more power we give negative influences that affect our thoughts and perceptions. One of the most accessible and life-changing practices I use regularly is catching my thought and fact-checking it. We call this the "I'm Telling Myself" practice.

Don't dismiss this because it is so simple!

When my feeling or mood shifts, I try to catch the thought I am having. I will admit to one publicly here to give you an example. When you do this practice, you don't need to share your thoughts with anyone else. Admitting the thoughts to ourselves takes enough courage. Some are full of judgment, projections, assumptions, and worse. This is precisely why we must notice them and fact-check them. Our practice takes their power away and puts it in our hands. If our thoughts include assumptions about ourselves and others, we suddenly have the power to dispel myths, test assumptions, and repair relationships, including the one we have with ourself.

Here is an example most of us can relate to:
I try to merge on the freeway and cars zip in my lane at the last second. My mood shifts rapidly, I am angry, my stomach turns, I catch my thought just before road rage becomes my reaction.

"These people are out to get me!"

I restate the thought with the fact-checking step of admitting this might not be true and stating that this is something I am telling myself, it is not observable data.

"I'm telling myself, these people are out to get me, this may or may not be true."

The more you take this quick step of naming and reframing your thoughts, the more aware you become of them and how they affect you and those around you because of your reactions. If nothing else, the phrase put at the end helps you accept that you could be wrong, loosening your attachment to your thought. With repeated use of this practice, you may uncover some significant patterns of thinking that reveal limiting beliefs that need shifting with the help of a professional. This upper level work feels like removing weights from your ankles. Every positive shift lowers your baseline of stress and conflict. Giving you less and less reactive moments, more and more clarity and peace.

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